tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20006571.post3661448250033050487..comments2024-03-27T11:29:55.430+09:00Comments on Living La Vida Loca In Japan: June 11, 2014Helenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00476943539943172099noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20006571.post-66821792827011966122014-06-13T12:00:29.640+09:002014-06-13T12:00:29.640+09:00Thanks Orchid...From reading my blog myself, I rea...Thanks Orchid...From reading my blog myself, I realized that this has often been a problem in June...it seems to go in cycles. It could be with the advent of the rainy season, his back hurts more than usual and I'm the convenient scapegoat to take it out on. <br /><br />I don't want to say too much here...but other options are being thought about and looked into. Nothing firm yet though.<br /><br />Part of this may be the whole thing that Japanese people like to criticize their family members/co-workers/team members...He might feel that he's trying to improve me, but of course that isn't what I take it to be. Besides...how can you improve on perfect ;-) ?Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00476943539943172099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20006571.post-25292445211714616812014-06-13T10:29:34.597+09:002014-06-13T10:29:34.597+09:00You can take anything I say with an enormous bould...You can take anything I say with an enormous boulder of salt, but, after reading your blog for a very long time, there seems to be a pattern of behavior on F's part which says, "you are not adapting to my lifestyle in the way I think you should." You said some time ago that he remarked on your eating Japanese food twice in one day (and doing so with surprise). He would only remark on that if he felt you weren't interested in Japanese food. You also said he seemed surprised when you said you missed Canadian food. It seemed as if he felt you'd have forgotten it and learned to love Japanese food by now.<br /><br />Could it be that he expects you to behave more like a Japanese wife and adapt to his preferences because he's the breadwinner? That is, cook the food he likes, watch the shows he likes, and get up and go to bed according to his schedule (and do it all without complaint)? He seems to regularly get upset at you for not conforming to his expectations and wishes and, instead of telling you straight out, he gives you the silent treatment, storms out or off, etc. <br /><br />I don't know if he'll talk to you about things (it doesn't seem he will) or that he'd even own up to things if you talked about his problems. It might be helpful to negotiate some sort of compromise such that each of you gets a bit more of what you need without all of the difficulty? If you hammered out an understanding, then maybe he wouldn't get so mad as both of you would be acting in accord with some agreed upon way of doing things? It's just a thought... but, again, this is a very uninformed bit of feedback. I can't really know what things are like and this is guessing.<br /><br />I really feel for you because living with that daily tension and mixed signals must be so difficult. I hope that things get better soon.Orchid64https://www.blogger.com/profile/07132543155589881288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20006571.post-82937250156448173982014-06-12T20:45:35.374+09:002014-06-12T20:45:35.374+09:00Thanks. They haven't yet. :-(Thanks. They haven't yet. :-(Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00476943539943172099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20006571.post-11553611272266527842014-06-12T20:41:43.746+09:002014-06-12T20:41:43.746+09:00I don't have any advice, but commiserate with ...I don't have any advice, but commiserate with your situation. You have the patience of a saint. I applaud that you at least try to talk things out. Too bad DH just yells back. Sheesh. I hope things get better soon.Crafty Tokyo Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15288479019602654250noreply@blogger.com