September 12, 2017

Tuesday - Cloudy and then very rainy

A mixed day.

When I first woke up this morning, F was awake and reading his phone in bed. I went back to sleep. When I woke up later I got up and put on the news and heated up some water for my tea.  He left to go to the bank after a bit.

We had an okay morning. I brought in yesterday’s laundry, had a bit of a nap and then F came back.  We did a little shopping for his mother, brought some stuff back for her lunch and dinner. 

We drove to Sakata and met up with my friend and her baby.  We talked a lot and had a great time.  The baby was really good and didn’t create a fuss or anything.  We did a bit of our women’s group housekeeping and also had a nice lunch.

After a while, she left to go home and we left too.  I was hoping for Starbucks, but we stopped first at the Sankyo Warehouses for me to buy some postcards. I picked up a few, forgot to buy some of others though. F wanted to go off and buy cake somewhere and then as we drove through the city I saw a post office and I went in. I sent a card to someone and also bought a Gotochi card that had been discontinued earlier.  When we found the cake store it was closed.  I didn’t mind really.  Next up was nashi.  F wanted to buy some more, and I was along for the ride.  We got to the farm, F bought fruit and I stayed in the car.  Why?  Well, every time I go to Canada they ask me if I’ve visited a farm recently.  I wanted to be able to say no!

I was very sleepy on the way back from the farm, so I completely missed the fact that we skipped Starbucks. F turned around and we drove back to Starbucks and had a scone and a regular coffee each.  It was all very nice until someone asked me what I’d like for dinner.  It wasn’t even 5 pm yet, I wasn’t hungry and I had no idea what restaurants were around. I tried to start a discussion with F about where to go and it turned into an argument.  Of course, he wanted to go for a) ramen or b) something at the port and I said no.  I told him that I would stay in the car while he went in. I wouldn’t care.  

We left Starbucks and basically I was ranted at for the next hour or so about how selfish I was for not picking a restaurant (when I wasn’t hungry) and how I always say no to the places he wants to go.  Not true, and he knows it. He did drive out to the port, but for some reason, he didn’t eat there. I’m not sure if the restaurants were closed or what.  I stayed in the car, but he walked all over the port. Surprised myself by not really caring all that much. 

We stopped at the Mikawa Mall so someone could use the washroom and I decided to use it too.  When I finished I hung around outside waiting for him.  I waited about 15 minutes and didn’t see him.  Then I thought that he’d probably gone back to the car, so I walked out of the mall.  He was sitting in the car.  

I suggested a restaurant behind the mall. He said he didn’t like it. I told him I didn’t care.  He said he wouldn’t go in. I told him to forget it.  He drove back to Tsuruoka and then into Fujishima to a drive-in that he likes. We had dinner there. It was okay, but certainly not a fabulous meal. I wasn’t really that hungry, my stomach was tying itself in knots all night because of him and his nastiness.  

We drove back to Tsuruoka and I told him I needed to go to a supermarket. We went to one but it was raining torrentially. He let me off near the door which was nice. I got some stuff and we left and came back to the house.

Things have been okay-ish since then but I am quite upset and I really don’t know what to do. Or maybe I do know what to do and I’m just afraid of taking that step.  

Come back later if you dare and see what I get up to on Wednesday. Until tomorrow….


Orchid64 said...

I've been following your blog for years now and it seems that F has a serious problem when it comes to food and decisions. I can't believe how often an argument ensues as a result of his not getting what he wants or something not turning out as he wishes. Do you think it'd help if you had a system in place in which you both definitively alternated choosing restaurants and once the choice was made by the person whose "turn" it was, there was no pouting, no ranting, not anything as that would be the terms? It just seems like he's got a real problem on this point and it's super destructive.

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this!

Helen said...

I actually don't think that we'd be able to do that. I suggested a similar idea a few years ago, as in putting the names of restaurants that we like in a jar but that wasn't acceptable to him. I won't eat at a few restaurants that he likes (because they are terrible or we always fight when we go there). He doesn't think that he has a problem, it is all on me.

Anyway, I'll be off soon for a few weeks, so I won't have to deal with it for a bit.

Thanks for visiting!

Orchid64 said...

I have a feeling that "it's all on (you)" is because he thinks you should just do whatever he wants all the time. I'm wondering if F is an only child who is used to always getting his way or something. :-p

Helen said...

No, not an only child, but the youngest and the only boy so of course he can do no wrong in his mother's eyes and she basically spoiled him rotten...and continues to do so.

He does seem to think that he knows best, even in situations where he doesn't know anything.

And yes, since he's perfect, why should he change at all?

Thanks for visiting!