Thursday - Warm and sunny
Was a good day…went downhill later on.
I got up this morning, watched a little TV. Same old thing. I had a quiet day at home and then in the afternoon had a snack and then went for a walk to the post office.
I made a payment for my school and then walked back home. It was so nice I didn’t want to go in, so I moved a little snow from F’s parking space, and then did a bit of the area in front of his space.
When I came in, I started to get dinner ready. I peeled potatoes and started making the soup. F came home a bit late. He didn’t call, which I was a little irritated by because I’d asked him to. When he came home I was washing the dishes I’d used so far in my cooking and I washed the potato peeler too. Unfortunately, I sliced my finger with it. Instead of getting any sympathy or help, I was asked, “How many fingers do you still have?” I turned down the pots on the stove, ran through to the bathroom and washed my finger and tried to dry it enough to put a bandaid on it. It was bleeding profusely and hurt a lot. I came back out to the living room and F was missing. The bedroom door was closed.
I got on with dinner. I did have to go and redo the bandaid as the blood had soaked through. It was pretty tough cooking without my right index finger, but I managed. I got everything ready and called him. He was in bed and said he didn’t need any dinner. Okay. Fine. I ate. When I finished, I was going to do dishes, but he came through and started making himself ramen. He was taking up most of the kitchen, so I couldn’t put things away. I took out a bowl and asked him if he’d put the remaining piece of chicken (cooked, and still in the pan) in it. He threw it in the garbage. I asked him what he was doing and said that I could have eaten that tomorrow. He started looking in the garbage for it and saying he’d get it for me. He also told me that I didn’t have to cook for him anymore, ever.
He ate his ramen, then I went into the kitchen and did up my dishes. I threw his dinner out too. He disappeared back into the bedroom after watching something inane on TV, then reappeared around 9:50, offering to take me to my school as I’d asked him earlier. However, I wasn’t willing to go out just then and refused.
He went out, came back and watched what I was watching for a few minutes, ate and drank noisily and then disappeared into the bedroom again. That’s the last I’ve seen of him.
This is getting serious because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. What do you do when you start to realise that things are never going to get better? Do you cut and run or do you keep hoping that something will improve?
Tomorrow I’m supposed to be having lunch with another foreign wife. I’m hoping that I’ll have a good time, but honestly, just being out and about with other people besides him will probably do me the world of good. Night.
4 comments:
honestly it seems like perhaps he had a bad day. Also some people are grossed out by blood, and probably wouldn't want to eat something possibly contaminated by it. I dont know if he is like this, but never know.
It sounds like you've had some good days the past couple weeks. And it sounds like he tried to make an effort of apology by offering to take you to the school. It's probably not worth arguing over. But open lines of communication are a good thing.
It sounds like there is a serious communication problem going on and that things are being left unsaid that spill over and affect everyday interactions. This happens to a lot of people because it's easier sometimes just to let it go and hope it is forgotten. Sometimes though, it just adds up and is never dealt with.
Perhaps some counseling would help get things out in the open and things may improve? Of course, one thing that is easier said than done is getting any sort of help in English, especially if you don't live in a major urban center. I'm wishing you well!
Orchid, as you say, where are we going to get counselling in English up here? Even if we could, I'm not sure that he'd go. Things have been quite bad this year so far and there isn't much evidence that they're going to get any better.
Unknown...I get your point about blood in the food. Yuck! But, I was washing dishes at the time and so there wasn't much chance of that happening. Of course the sooner I got a bandage on my finger, the better in that situation.
I think he offered to take me to the school when he did because he could see that I was watching something on TV and wouldn't want to miss the end of it. He isn't the kind of person who would wait 5 minutes for it to end.
The last week had been better until yesterday but not that great.
Thanks for the support people!
Oh dear, I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles with F.
Honestly, I am not quite sure what he was so grumpy about.
All I can say is that I have been there as well and can really sympathize.
I hope your lunch tomorrow (today?) goes well.
Take care.
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